to blink, and
in that moment
(while my eyes were closed)
an eternity passed,
But eternity will last
and while I stood
with closed eyes,
(I couldn’t see)
you standing before me,
till I opened my eyes again.
Half Light barely licking winding coastal roads,
as wild white horses rear,
then throw themselves
towards half glimpsed darkened shores.
Standing ground against God’s Hands,
that pluck at chest and legs
in His unconscious attempt
to lift and fly this flesh from land to sea.
Enthralled as wind and sound
push, pull and fight,
to entice an embrace
with these beasts riding above deep blue space.
Pull me closer,
let me in,
hold me to your breast
and I can fly deep beneath Your sky.
These Four. These four pillars.
The foundation these four form.
The foundation that relationship, that marriage, that forever is built upon.
Of these four, once considered and weighted, none is of more import than the other,
nor of greater value to one’s faith in relationship.
Consider those moments when another’s soul touches yours, whether conscious or unconscious. These corner stones, these four pillars become the guide, leading us to the answers of those questions so often asked. Are you for me? Am I for you? Is this another lie or finally the truth?
These moments clarified in thought are searched through, digested, then ruminated upon. Emotions are; as we know, the food of the soul.
So I reflect upon these moments, conjuring up a screen to revisit the pictures held in my mind, pressing play to hear, once more, the soft echoes, of words shared and spoken. The remembrance of my hand round yours, guiding yours, however brief, being relived again and again.
In this moment i sit beside you, in another i float with you, buoyant in the water, while summer sun bakes down, singing bare shoulders, and drying lush vegetation after the heavy winter rains. All the while we float I selfishly wish for time to slow so I can savour each word that flows from your lips. Take each word on my tongue and let their meaning, their very essence, take hold. Imagining that time could, frame by frame, be slowed further, so every bird song, every rustle of leaves in the breeze, every capture of light on your face and nuance in that moment of nature be touched, felt and understood. To float with you and want for nothing else in that moment, is this Companionship? Is this the first of the Four Pillars? For if so, this is truly a good pillar.
And what of the others? Could it be that moment catching your eye and self consciously looking away, when knowingly one would rather hold that gaze and pour every wish and dream untainted from heart to heart, undaunted and unafraid that this trust should be mistreated or brushed aside. Could it be to gaze on your lines as a painter would release the unconscious flow in his brush, or a sculptor allow the clay to find form within his hands. Is this Attraction? Is this the second most vital support? But how fleeting and precarious can this pillar become when unattended or ignored.
With these two in place, secured in honest soil, one can drop one’s guard and feel defences lower, without preconception or plan. This realisation ringing true and bringing with it reminders of good. Resurfacing and reawakening memories of time less troubled, when “naivety”, “pure” and “sheltered” were fond friends and not distant relations. To peel back a hardened skin and allow another’s vital presence in, with few qualms, few fears and few doubts. Is this Trust? Is this the third of them? The Third Pillar, so easily shattered, it’s composition so vital to maintain.
The Fourth is undoubtably Love. We feel we know this so well, have visited so oft before, have held hands with and sometimes dived deep into it’s arms, intoxicated by it’s body. But what is Love? This fourth and final pillar, without it’s companion supporters. Without Companionship, Love is lust, a fire that burns itself to ashes and will vanish in time. Without Attraction, Love can not kindle, can not push the heart to beat a little faster when caught by a certain look, can not cause tingles of energy at the merest touch of a hand or brush of an arm. And Without Trust…
…Love Will Fail.
Without Trust, the weeds of doubt and insecurity will gain hold and pull each of these pillars down, destroying their core as surely as time and the elements destroy that which is left abandoned. Once this quagmire has taken Trust, there is no release. So is Love merely the cantilevered space that is created and held in suspense by the pillars of Companionship, Attraction and Trust? No, for Love becomes the intangible fourth support without which relationship and marriage could not elevate themselves to greater heights. But how fragile is this fourth of these pillars? So beautifully sensed, but so easily shattered, so intangible that without the presence of the other three as a constant reminder of it’s ethereal existence it will fade away and be lost to time.